(no subject)

[kuangning]

Assumptions...

Hanging on to a memory of hurt because you're too afraid to find out whether things have changed. Never letting go of the hypervigilance, too busy being wary to notice that no-one's wielding the knife any longer. Too obsessed with the memory of things lost, to see what could be.

Abraham, are we sometimes bound by pride?
Too mindful of our hopes and dreams, to let the anger slide?

... What of the future, Abraham?
Will we achieve some peace?
From these solitudes we wander in,
Will there be some release?

-- James Keelaghan, Abraham

I'm tired of guarding against blows that haven't fallen yet... aren't you? I'm sick of wondering, and I think maybe you feel the same way. I'm thinking back beyond pain to a time that wasn't bad, even if it wasn't entirely right, and remembering what used to be, before there was this. I don't want to go back in time, I needed the lessons I learned, and that will never happen again, but I'm ready to go on now. Take a chance, and walk with me again awhile?

Comments

[kuangning]

Do you know that I love you with all my heart? I still feel that I don't thank you often enough for being the incredible friend to me that you are and have been. I'm thinking today about the months I spent out of #hellfighter, and how long I let that go on, until you. If I got nothing out of that whole ugly episode but you, my Dougie, I'd still have counted myself lucky. As it is, you've given me back, and on more than one occasion, more than a half-dozen other true friends -- and that's not counting the time and effort you put into getting Rik and me to set things right. In you, I'm blessed.