Breaking the Habit.
Sep. 5th, 2002 04:47 am... of IRC, that is. Or, at least, being brave in the attempt. I'm writing again. I've rediscovered cross-stitch. And I'm spending far less time at the computer in general. what time I do spend, I'm finding, is being spent in one-on-one conversation. It feels weird not to have the window open, but I can live with this.
Analysis? Life's too short. Despite some personal connections I'm not devaluing, lately I feel more and more distant from the group. I don't think like they do, don't believe as they do as strongly as they do, and conforming for the sake of peace doesn't appeal. Anyone who wants to continue talking to me can; anyone who really couldn't care less or actively doesn't want to is invited to drop me now, I won't take it personally. I stopped being angry awhile ago, but going back doesn't seem to be in anyone's best interests.
Neither is hanging on for the sake of hanging on, anywhere in my life. I'm finding that I'm not interested in having many pleasant acquaintances who display polite interest but never really interact with me. Challenge me, make me think, make me laugh, be a catalyst for growth. Really, I'm wanting to prune my "friend of" list. Currently, the numbers say that 130 people read this journal. I actually hear from less than half of them. Here's the thing: just because I added you, does not mean you are obligated to read my journal. Just because you've talked to me outside of LJ, even, doesn't mean you have to read what I write. If you haven't found that I've said anything that interests you, if I bore you and you wish you could drop me politely, now's the time. My reasons for reading you are valid, and won't be changed by your decision. So I won't mess up your "friend of" numbers unless you indicate that you'd like to be dropped. Other than that, I want to come out of this with just the company of people who're here for the right reasons, hopefully people who genuinely enjoy my company and people who are interested in real contact -- and my definition of that excludes the occasional comment with no content.
Analysis? Life's too short. Despite some personal connections I'm not devaluing, lately I feel more and more distant from the group. I don't think like they do, don't believe as they do as strongly as they do, and conforming for the sake of peace doesn't appeal. Anyone who wants to continue talking to me can; anyone who really couldn't care less or actively doesn't want to is invited to drop me now, I won't take it personally. I stopped being angry awhile ago, but going back doesn't seem to be in anyone's best interests.
Neither is hanging on for the sake of hanging on, anywhere in my life. I'm finding that I'm not interested in having many pleasant acquaintances who display polite interest but never really interact with me. Challenge me, make me think, make me laugh, be a catalyst for growth. Really, I'm wanting to prune my "friend of" list. Currently, the numbers say that 130 people read this journal. I actually hear from less than half of them. Here's the thing: just because I added you, does not mean you are obligated to read my journal. Just because you've talked to me outside of LJ, even, doesn't mean you have to read what I write. If you haven't found that I've said anything that interests you, if I bore you and you wish you could drop me politely, now's the time. My reasons for reading you are valid, and won't be changed by your decision. So I won't mess up your "friend of" numbers unless you indicate that you'd like to be dropped. Other than that, I want to come out of this with just the company of people who're here for the right reasons, hopefully people who genuinely enjoy my company and people who are interested in real contact -- and my definition of that excludes the occasional comment with no content.
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