Breaking the Habit.

[kuangning]

... of IRC, that is. Or, at least, being brave in the attempt. I'm writing again. I've rediscovered cross-stitch. And I'm spending far less time at the computer in general. what time I do spend, I'm finding, is being spent in one-on-one conversation. It feels weird not to have the window open, but I can live with this.

Analysis? Life's too short. Despite some personal connections I'm not devaluing, lately I feel more and more distant from the group. I don't think like they do, don't believe as they do as strongly as they do, and conforming for the sake of peace doesn't appeal. Anyone who wants to continue talking to me can; anyone who really couldn't care less or actively doesn't want to is invited to drop me now, I won't take it personally. I stopped being angry awhile ago, but going back doesn't seem to be in anyone's best interests.

Neither is hanging on for the sake of hanging on, anywhere in my life. I'm finding that I'm not interested in having many pleasant acquaintances who display polite interest but never really interact with me. Challenge me, make me think, make me laugh, be a catalyst for growth. Really, I'm wanting to prune my "friend of" list. Currently, the numbers say that 130 people read this journal. I actually hear from less than half of them. Here's the thing: just because I added you, does not mean you are obligated to read my journal. Just because you've talked to me outside of LJ, even, doesn't mean you have to read what I write. If you haven't found that I've said anything that interests you, if I bore you and you wish you could drop me politely, now's the time. My reasons for reading you are valid, and won't be changed by your decision. So I won't mess up your "friend of" numbers unless you indicate that you'd like to be dropped. Other than that, I want to come out of this with just the company of people who're here for the right reasons, hopefully people who genuinely enjoy my company and people who are interested in real contact -- and my definition of that excludes the occasional comment with no content.

Comments

There she is!

[minn.livejournal.com]

I missed your posts. I have myself been keeping a low profile on LJ (due to various personal problems), and I didn't see you on AIM either.

Thank you for this post. Your enties make me think, move and inspire me. Sometimes I don't comment, but I lap up every word of yours quite eagerly. :)

And I do hope you retain me on your list. :)

-hugs-

Re: There she is!

[kuangning]

Mm. I've become more of a nocturnal being since I started working, and you seem to be around in the mornings. As for the not-posting, sometimes I do that. I make up for it by overposting in spates. *wrysmile.* And I'm not demanding that everyone comment to every post or even read every post, just saying that if you never read and never comment, what's the point? Of course, those people probably didn't bother to read this post. Silly me. ;)

[galith.livejournal.com]

I read you, and many of your entries are very good reads. Either for humor value or deepness.

The thing is that many times you'll write a deep entry, and I won't have time to read it, or be in the propper mood, and it will be forgotten, and I'm not one to comment much if I don't really have anything to add. And I've been slacking on my livejournal reading for a few days now, as well as everything else, which is something that needs to stop...

Anyway yeah, thats my justification, if I need one, and if I don't, well its there anyway.

[kuangning]

You don't need a justification. The silly thing about this post is that I'll only get comments from people who actively read. Those who just don't care won't respond or won't see it, and those are the ones I wish would go ahead and drop me. I should have disabled comments, really, but let it stand.

[bridgeweaver.livejournal.com]

I found you some time ago when searching on one of my own interest keywords, which one I now forget. I stayed, because you wrote things that challenged me, and that often spawned interesting discussions. I have been touched, annoyed, frustrated, made to laugh, and in other a*affected* by things you have written. I put you on my friends list because, well, I think that were I to meet you in the "real world" I would make a good friend of and for you, an arrogant judgment perhaps, but mine nonetheless. I comment when I have something to say to you or someone commenting on your entries. I hope you might find some things I write interesting as well, and as you've had me on your friends list for some time now, I expect you must.

As one who has just ruthlessly removed about four journals from my friends list that I realized were just taking up space on my friends page, I would detlte you if your writing were a waste of my time, or if I thought you were a wanker. I do not, and do not, therefore, with your permission, I'll hang around and see what you perpetrate next. In return you may shoot me down for my anti-anti-Christianity rant if you feel so inclined, or speak out in praise and honor of it if the spirit takes you. I look forwd your presec in Toledo, as it means I mitctually get to meet you.

I remain,Bridge
weaver

[targaff.livejournal.com]

If I'm brutally honest, I skip over plenty of what you post, notably the story/storylike sections you wrote more frequently previously. Of the rest, I find that I evidently don't have the same opinion as you on quite a few things - notably femininism, IIRC ;) [to which I always meant to reply but never, ever managed to...] - but it is generally interesting, even if it does sometimes do no more than irritate me. If we all thought the same, though...

I do wonder, incidentally, what it is that I said or did that made you think it might be worthwhile reading what I had to say ;p

[kuangning]

It was a mini-rant on how nice girls complain about not being able to find a nice guy when they keep choosing jerks. ;) Beyond that, though... no, we don't usually think alike. But when we don't, you still manage to put your point across coherently and not let things degenerate to name-calling and personal attacks. Besides, I don't want to be surrounded by people who agree with me on everything: where's the challenge in that? None of us would ever learn anything new. I simply don't want to be surrounded by people who are here out of a sense of obligation either. ;)

[earlylight.livejournal.com]

Three things:

I comment when something you say touches me too deeply for me to stay silent. Just says it perfectly.

I love the song you have playing.

And three, whatcha cross stitching? :)

[kuangning]

It's a scene of two birds on branches covered in snow. A bit more ambitious than the little kits I've done till now -- lots of muted colours, lots of mixed colours, and 7" by 14" -- but it was too pretty to pass up.

Echoes from the back of the room...

[http://users.livejournal.com/killjoy_/]

Hm... this raises sort of interesting thoughts, in a way. I don't remember why I added you, in all honesty. And from watching you I've found that, in a great number of ways, we're very different people. I regret that this has been a mainly one-sided thing; I realize that I don't post much or comment or... okay, say much in general.

You're interesting though. I don't know how to explain myself much better than that, unfortunately. So I think I'll just leave it there.


I'm coming to agree with you lately, regarding IRC. Feel almost guilty about it sometimes but... *shrug*

Perhaps I'll say more once I've figured out what I want to say.

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

I'm . . . tenderly amused by your worry about who it is that's reading you.

Be yourself, and people will come in and out of your life, as always. I want to stay and watch for a while.

[rbos.livejournal.com]

I don't recall why I added you, but I know why I kept you on my friends list. Reading what you write is usually interesting, never boring, and often thought-provoking. I approve. I don't make a habit of writing back, though, unless I am directly involved. I probably fit into that category of "pleasant acquaintances", or at least I strive to be so pleasant. :P

I hope I've been thought-provoking in the past.

[maruchan.livejournal.com]

I remember why I added you. In boredom, I started looking at friends of friends of people I used to talk to on IRC, long ago. That's how I found your website, and I found it very thoughtful.

I guess I'm replying now partly because I've also been wondering why I'm on your friends list. We don't know each other at all, except for reading what the other person writes. I liked the poublic entries that I saw, so I added you to my Super-Convenient friends page. This is all...and so I don't mind whether you drop or keep me on your friends list.

I'll warn you that you probably won't hear many more comments from me, because I usually have only small, silly things to say to others on LJ. But I am planning to stick around for a little while...

Candace

[kuangning]

Anyone who runs around with chemistry homework, giggling, is worth reading just for awe value. No, we don't have much in common. But your point of view interests me.

[katster.livejournal.com]

i read.

i don't have much to comment on, and a bit less time as of late, but I do read...

-kat

[sliderdf.livejournal.com]

Well, this is to let you know I'm still here... I had my own experience with a certain lady of our mutual acquaintance recently (the one who calls kids "fuck trophies" and "carpet lice") and I just told her straight up that what she was saying wasn't funny. Of course, she left the channel and hasn't been seen since. There wasn't much of an argument, but I can hardly understand what could possess a person to think that way. I recognize that it may be a while before I'm ready to be a father, but there's a world of difference between "not wanting children" and "militantly not wanting children".

Hope to talk with ya soon.