hmmm.

[kuangning]

Interesting - and amusing.

With two exceptions, (can't remember exactly when they added me) my "friends of" list had been unchanged for the last month. Yesterday, I posted my new, more-accurate userpic. As of right now, I've been dropped by four people, none of whom have been very close to me, none of whom I have dropped or had any real interaction with, negative or positive, in the last two weeks.

Something to think about, no?

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

How odd. I really liked it -- I thought it was beautiful.

[kuangning]

Thank you. :)

[i.livejournal.com]

i like it too. losers.

[kuangning]

*hugs.* It really doesn't warrant anger, to my way of thinking. :)

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

It *could* be at least partly coincidence. I wouldn't attribute all of it to that userpic. Then again, I doubt it's *all* coincidence. You just never know about some people!

I for one am really glad you shared it with us. I appreciate disclosure and getting to know more of the whole person behind the LJ words. And if you really look like that user pic, you're as beautiful on the outside as we all know you are on the inside!

[kuangning]

Yes, it could be coincidence. It's just an interesting fact, is all. Whatever the reason, the timing made me laugh. :)

[violetvixen.livejournal.com]

wow...

honestly I had an embarassing reaction 'she's not white is she?' followed closely by 'what the @$#!@#$ am I saying?!?'.... it is such an unconsious thing that I don't think many realize it (I sure didn't!), I apologize if any offese is taken but I found my reaction amuseing and somewhat disturbing.

[kuangning]

I don't think I make any secret of the fact that I'm not white. But it's not in my bio, is it? I simply never think about it much. My mother is half East Indian and half black. My dad is black, with a great deal more thrown in - I'm about 1/16th Carib Indian, for example - and it's just not an issue for our family. Holdover from small-island life, I guess. :) I don't mind the reactions at all, either; no need to be embarrassed. It's just amusing. :)

Re:

[violetvixen.livejournal.com]

lol that it is, isn't it? I don't think in the time I've been reading your journal that I got an impression that stuck of what color you were... what stuck with me more is my impressions of you as a strong woman...and that is all that really matters.

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you can be amused.

Makes me sick.

What really makes me sick, though, is that I knew it was going to happen. Sad.

[kuangning]

*chuckles, and hugs you.*

The way I see it, if someone is that small-minded, I'm not at all hurt by them displaying that fact. It doesn't reflect badly on me at all. So, yes, I'm amused... and I appreciate that you aren't, but I hope you won't let it bother you overmuch.

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

Well, again, I'm glad it didn't bother you.

I will admit, I saw the pic, read the post, blinked and thought, "ah. non-caucasian." I hadn't picked up on it, but then, it's not like I was trying, because frankly, I don't give a rat's arse.

Besides, I'm still occasionally pleasantly surprised to get up and notice I have two FEET, so. :P

[envoy.livejournal.com]

If I might offer perhaps a second possibility. Perhaps it's not that your new user pick depicts you as non-caucasian (something that I'd figured out a long time ago, BTW.) but rather that it revealed that you *weren't* an animesque redhead, almost all of your other user pics show such an image.

So maybe you didn't lose 4 racist jerks, maybe you just lost 4 drooling redheaded-anime-girl fetishists...

You know, that last line was supposed to be a lot more positive than it turned out to be upon a second reading...

[kuangning]

LOL!

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

*giggles lots* Now, this is an excellent point.

[grimhild.livejournal.com]

In any case, you seem a lot more thoughtful and insightful than Asuka ever was. ;)

Re:

[kuangning]

*laugh.* Thank you. I really (*gasp!*) identify more with Ami than with Asuka. But it's easier to find expressive pictures of Asuka, more's the pity. :)

Hmm...

[damienroc.livejournal.com]

The internet, sans pictures of yourself, has always been a place of idealized pictures. Not so much that you can project yourself as something else (which you can) but just that people will inherently put a good face on you. Or bad, I suppose.

I still remember a conversation with someone who, upon hearing about how I looked, responded "My God! You're tiny!" She had a mental picture of me being about 6' tall and about 1/4 asian.

I'm a whopping 5'6" and about a white as they come. I don't think I have any blood in me that comes from below the 50th parallel. ^_^

With you, I've noticed that you're a lot more... open, I suppose, with the way you are. Even if you're not conversing with people, it's not too difficult for us LJers to construct a pretty keen mental/emotional picture of you. Adding a pseudo-physical picture to that is expected and (I think) necessarry. There's probably a voice that we'd expect too.

When the true picture comes out, though, I think people are inevitably disappointed. Reality can't match the ideal, ever... Well, unless you happen to find out you've been chatting with Kirsten Dunst. ^_^ When disappointment arrives, though, I think some people's reaction is to run away from it.

They almost feel betrayed, I imagine. "How dare you not look like I expected!" Rather than have to face that image rather often, they just remove you and, maybe, forget about it.

Shallow and cowardly, but not exactly unexpected.

[kenhighcountry.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I added you within the past couple of days. So it's plus one for our team.
As far as my userpic goes, I really am Che Guevara. But don't let the CIA know. They thought they got me.

Re:

[kuangning]

I wasn't counting you, actually. :) you added me during the same 24-hour period. However, I've seen enough of your journal to know that one of you equals all four of them quite easily. ;)

Re:

[kenhighcountry.livejournal.com]

I've seen enough of your journal to know that one of you equals all four of them quite easily.

Now that is easily the nicest thing anyone has said to me in weeks. :-)
Thank you.

[arhuaine.livejournal.com]

I agree with dipicarat; that people often have an image of what people look like on the internet, and often that image is very different from reality.

My first reaction to seeing your picture was "pretty". Then I read the comments here, and I was surprised when they mentioned about you being black. I had to look at the photo again, I hadn't even noticed.

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

*nods along with the others* I have to admit I was surprised because you didn't look as I pictured you looking, though I really like that picture. I also hadn't particularly picked up on your race. Though I think some of that was that I was picturing something closer to your usual LJ pics. Anyway... If they left because you're black.. it's not worth thinking about them too much. If they left for other reasons, (I know I just randomly go through and update my friends list so that people whose entries I tend to skim over go off. And it has nothing to do with what they've said recently. It's just... when it happens) they worrying about those reasons probably also doesn't matter much.

[virtual256.livejournal.com]

I've commented (in other places) that many people will judge people one way, and then upon meeting them in person, totally change their viewpoint and edit their mental picture.

For me, everyone starts out as *blank* which isn't really assotiated with anything at all, that gets changed by actually talking to them, getting to know them a little.

From there, the image keeps changing, little by little until I have an "Image" without a face or voice, just personality...
Face gets added, basicly piecemeal, part by part, with any new information.

Voice just shows up eventually, I have no clue from where ^_^

Eventually, I have a full mental image, and that can get changed *very* easily.

Now, this may be just me, but It's the way I've imagined all of my online only (for now...) friends.

*sheepish gryn*

[grynz.livejournal.com]

Actually, my first reaction was "wow! She's so pretty and exotic looking! Who is that?"

Then I read your post and realized it was you.. and had this protective urge "She looks so delicate and fragile.. with a sad butterfly soul in her eyes.."

So.. yeah. That was my first reaction.. *shakes head* I sincerely hope, and would like to believe that people didn't remove you from their friends list, just because of how you look.. but were just trying to keep their friends list to a managable and followable level..

[helbug.livejournal.com]

hmmm... interesting.

well, i think it's beautiful. and i love the sweatshirt ;)

fyi - i've heard from a couple of lj'ers their live journal was
hacked and their friends list had been modified or deleted...

Re:

[kuangning]

euww. I think I'd be inclined to hunt down and slay messily anyone who tampered with my LJ.

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

I did a double take as I am so used to your anime icon and wondered who the pretty stranger was looking at me.