(no subject)
Mar. 21st, 2003 09:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kuangningDrifting.
Falling floating acquiescent, waiting for something that exerts a pull. Hands in pockets, head down, shuffling, picking over stones just because, and not bothering to keep the ones that sparkle.
I remember what it was to create. My hands recall putting together things I hoped would last, pounding out words that seemed to bypass my head and flow straight from some hidden corner where someone hid who was me, and not me.
Justify your existence.
I create.
I used to believe I would cease to exist on the day I ceased to create. In a way, I have. With the future of my most personal and human accomplishment still undecided, I ceased to create at all. I've written nothing of my own worth penning, these months. I've not found a single fractal worth rendering. And I don't recognise myself in this dull, listless woman wearing my face and thinking with my voice.
I wonder if I still have the willpower to find my way back.
Falling floating acquiescent, waiting for something that exerts a pull. Hands in pockets, head down, shuffling, picking over stones just because, and not bothering to keep the ones that sparkle.
I remember what it was to create. My hands recall putting together things I hoped would last, pounding out words that seemed to bypass my head and flow straight from some hidden corner where someone hid who was me, and not me.
Justify your existence.
I create.
I used to believe I would cease to exist on the day I ceased to create. In a way, I have. With the future of my most personal and human accomplishment still undecided, I ceased to create at all. I've written nothing of my own worth penning, these months. I've not found a single fractal worth rendering. And I don't recognise myself in this dull, listless woman wearing my face and thinking with my voice.
I wonder if I still have the willpower to find my way back.