Assignment #2

[kuangning]

Taffy says:

I was enormously impressed by the depth and content of "Birth," a story that I found extremely disturbing. Your writing is technically flawless and you do an excellent job of placing us inside your nameless protagonist's mind. What you don't do, however, is provide quite enough information to the reader. You are dropping us briefly into this young woman's life, but not providing enough landmarks to know who she is and where she's going. How did she end up lying on the ground originally? Who picks her up and takes her away to such shocking abuse? Why does she tolerate it?

She made some minor corrections, things I would have changed myself had I come back to it after a month or so, nothing I minded being changed, nothing that disturbed my perceptions of the story. And that's important to me; I'm pleased. Except -- how do I explain to her now that the things she's seeing as defects are the things that I felt made the story disturbing, and that they weren't entirely unintended? Sure, she could have had a name. But she didn't "tell" me her name, and I let it lie because I felt it irrelevant. The rest is, well... half the reason the story is disturbing is because it does leave you with questions you can't answer. I know a mystery writer is accustomed to having the ends neatly tied up at the end of a story, conflicts all resolved and packed away -- but I have real trouble writing like that and preserving the feel of my work at the same time. This was not supposed to be a fairy tale. Sometimes it just doesn't all go away by the end of the time allotted, you know? So -- what do I do? Do I write two versions of the work, one to satisfy her and one for myself? Do I explain and hope she changes her mind? I have about a month to figure it out, so I'm not truly worried, just vaguely dissatisfied.

Comments

[anoisblue.livejournal.com]

I say explain and hope she understands. I had a poem once that one writing professor loved. In my next writing class, the professor hated it. I kept it in my portfolio even though she told me that it would lower my final grade. I told her I didn't care. It was staying. She appreciated my stand and understood it. I think, more than she hated the poem.

One of the best pieces of short fiction (also a very disturbing piece and one I will never foreget), never revealed the name of the protagonist. It was told in the first person. No one had a name. They didn't need names. That wasn't the point.

[kuangning]

*nods.* I really get the impression that she was expecting writing with a clear-cut "background, events, conclusion" format. I've only ever written like that for my kids, and I've found it doesn't come naturally and I don't do it well. So maybe I need to do more of it to develop the skill -- or maybe I just need to not force myself into a mold I already know doesn't fit me. Tough call.

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

Amend the parts you agree with her on, as to the rest, just be sure you can explain that they are planned elements designed to add a sense of unease and mystery - I would suspect its not so much she didn't like those parts, as that she wants to check they aren't just there through a poor grasp of storytelling or some oversight on your part. If you can defend them and give reasons, its sure to satisfy her that you are thinking about what you are writing...
Maybe as a check get a few other people to read the piece and see if they find the same points she did, in which case it might be worth reviewing things - I dunno, my dad is a writer, or trying to be, but though he's excellent at screenplays and drama, with stories he hasn't got the hang of writing *for* an audience, or accepting criticism when things he puts in are so clever as to be difficult to follow...

[kuangning]

*nods.* Thank you. I have considered that I'm being overprotective -- "my work, my baby," etc. I'm going to try to turn loose a bit, do two versions if I need to.

[maruchan.livejournal.com]

I can't really speak for her, but perhaps she'd be satisfied with what you have now, as long as you explain that you didn't do so out of negligence or something.

That said, I actually would be happy if you did write two versions...that is, to continue the piece. The name thing, I am comfortable with...but I really do want to know what happens, eventually! The possibilities for her in my mind are so open that I'm not sure what to ponder...a situation that leaves me with a more well-defined question like "So did she die or not?" makes me much more inclined to obsess about it for the next few days. If you were so inclined, I bet it could become a good novel-length story.

But that's just me. :P

Re:

[kuangning]

Well, actually, she's gotten incorporated into Godseed. So you will get to know what happens to her, probably not long after I do. ;) But I can't very well submit Godseed as background for her, when the assignment's upper word count is something like 1000 words. I wrote the story for the assignment, exactly as it came to me, and working in backstory like what Taffy's asking for puts it well over word count. Once the assignment was done, of course, I got to play with it, and that works out better.

[powerpynt.livejournal.com]

One of the many reasons I never went to college was I found that academia is 1 part reality and 6 parts suck up. I saw most professors as intractible in their opinions of themselves as fonts of all wisdom and purveyors of all knowledge. Cynical yes; but Linda always tells me that the problem with my being negative is that I'm nearly always right.

Explain first and see if she one of whom I speak. If not, problem solved. But if so and it's a grade you need, create a version that will make her tingle, and laugh inside at her ignorance. Then write what you believe for the yourself and rest of the world.

4 cents from an incorrigable coot who thinks "spell check" is a wiccan device better left to those who dabble in the black arts.

Bragi