Cairsten doesn't do ghost stories.
Sep. 18th, 2002 12:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kuangningThere are reasons for this.
First off, I get nightmares. Like any little kid, pulling the covers over my head and imagining sounds in the silence and seeing movements in the shadows. I wake up, not screaming, but petrified. Not pleasant, but an occasional nightmare would not be so much.
No, what really gets me is this strange little belief I can't shake that what I believe, what I think about and give over my energy to, I create or at least attract into my life. I've seen things I can't explain away. Ask me if I believe in them, have a little chat with me like![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rustedlemon has, and you'll probably come away with chills like she did, because I know evil exists: I've encountered it. Evil that makes human evil pale, it can't compare, because we never do more than tap into the bare edges of it. I've felt it. I believe in it as strongly as I believe in life and light and love, because I've felt them, too.
Now, if I bring into my life what I give over my mental and spiritual energies to, why would I want to spend much time deliberating on tales of ghosts and haunts and evil things that won't lie quiet? I can't say that, despite the adrenaline rush and the heightened awareness that comes with it, experiencing evil was anywhere near pleasant. I don't want to repeat it. So I lie quietly and think of good things, and hope for an ordinary life -- hope it overlooks me, except at the times when I hope it can't help but notice me because I'm burning brightly. I haven't reconciled those two yet.
I don't do ghost stories if I'm not sitting in the light, with good company, a long time before sleeping. Hell, at least part of why I'm nocturnal is because I like sleeping in daylight. Night's for creating, night's for wide-awake dreaming, being in control -- somebody ought to be. Night's a vulnerable time, when people let down their guard and trust that they'll open their eyes again in daylight. I figure I'd rather meet whatever walks in the darkness with my eyes wide open and my mind under my own control. As much as mine ever is, anyway. ;)
First off, I get nightmares. Like any little kid, pulling the covers over my head and imagining sounds in the silence and seeing movements in the shadows. I wake up, not screaming, but petrified. Not pleasant, but an occasional nightmare would not be so much.
No, what really gets me is this strange little belief I can't shake that what I believe, what I think about and give over my energy to, I create or at least attract into my life. I've seen things I can't explain away. Ask me if I believe in them, have a little chat with me like
rustedlemon has, and you'll probably come away with chills like she did, because I know evil exists: I've encountered it. Evil that makes human evil pale, it can't compare, because we never do more than tap into the bare edges of it. I've felt it. I believe in it as strongly as I believe in life and light and love, because I've felt them, too.Now, if I bring into my life what I give over my mental and spiritual energies to, why would I want to spend much time deliberating on tales of ghosts and haunts and evil things that won't lie quiet? I can't say that, despite the adrenaline rush and the heightened awareness that comes with it, experiencing evil was anywhere near pleasant. I don't want to repeat it. So I lie quietly and think of good things, and hope for an ordinary life -- hope it overlooks me, except at the times when I hope it can't help but notice me because I'm burning brightly. I haven't reconciled those two yet.
I don't do ghost stories if I'm not sitting in the light, with good company, a long time before sleeping. Hell, at least part of why I'm nocturnal is because I like sleeping in daylight. Night's for creating, night's for wide-awake dreaming, being in control -- somebody ought to be. Night's a vulnerable time, when people let down their guard and trust that they'll open their eyes again in daylight. I figure I'd rather meet whatever walks in the darkness with my eyes wide open and my mind under my own control. As much as mine ever is, anyway. ;)
