Confessions of a LiveJournaler...

[kuangning]

Sometimes...

I'd be hard-put to explain just what I'm trying to do, when I sit down to this space. Times when I'm boiling over with emotions, and words are the only release I'll find... it's easy, then. Times when I have a clear idea in mind, something that needs to be said or the idea is going to set me aflame... it's not hard, then, either.

But then there are times... like this one... when all I have is a vague impression, a feeling that won't be ignored but refuses to be categorised... and somehow, some way, I have to weave a net of words around it, build a scene and paint the emotions in... with no more than just the ache in my throat and my heart, to steer by.

I'm whispering, when I'd like to shout. I'm stepping lightly, when what I'm burning to do is to dance my way through, and be what I'm trying to express. I'm longing to burn brightly, I'm aching to blaze, to flame high and hotly. I'm talking, when I'd like to vibrate with the feeling, to let myself resonate to the frequency of the experience... because words are all I have. Words are all we're given, to touch each other's minds and hearts across the miles, to spark each other's imaginations and kindle blazes akin to our own.

What good is it, that I feel these things, what difference will it make, if I make myself drunk on the experience and never share it? What purpose have I served, if I discover joy, but never share it with another living soul? What is the point of my having lived, if I die without ever having been even imperfectly understood? ... And for all of that, the only tools provided are words. Inelegant, insufficient, precious, potent words. It's not enough, you see, to capture the emotion. The greater object is to capture the imagination and the spirit of someone outside yourself, and express that emotion. To share the thought is to strengthen the ties that bind us, until they're things that can bear our weight no matter how far we go or how high we climb. And, in the words themselves... if I can master them, make them serve me.... then, in words, there is no limit to what I can do or be or experience. That's why I'm here... what about you?

Comments

Words

[jourdannex.livejournal.com]

That is a perfect description of how a lot of us feel when we write here. I guess I am here when I need thoughts to leave my head, seem to fill up and I have to write them down or just have them echoing in there to drive me mad. In that way it becomes an outlet. The *need* to write.

To share them with my friends, to see others, like yours, writing and thoughts and feelings. To come across people who touch me, when in fact I may have never come across them any other way.

You have said it perfectly though. And we are all connected through our words.

That is most definately a part of it.

[envoy.livejournal.com]

Another part is that I do it for the sake of progression. If the thoughts only live in my head, they are intangeable. By bringing them out, in the witness of others, they solidify. It makes them real in a way that I find difficult to do on my own. The opinions of others is what encourages me to continue, and provides me with that essential something that is outside of myself, it keeps me honest, and gives me a touchstone. Once the thoughts have been brought to that point. I can grasp them, and evaluate them in a way that lets me continue, move beyond them.

[charles.livejournal.com]

Eh?

[violetvixen.livejournal.com]

I am here appriciateing my friends and their thoughts tonight. To glimps into them even for the briefest moment as they try to convay with the world their thoughts and feelings.

It's like a mother checking in on her children one last time before she goes to sleep herself. She's tucked them in hours ago, said her good byes online before, yet she still has to check one last time before giving into sleep herself.

Good night children of my heart, for I know that in days yet to come I will play the child and other's will have the roll of mother. Fair thee well, blessed dreams caress your sleep.

[i.livejournal.com]

you said that so much more eloquently than i. thank you.

a dilemma...

[kuangning]

Sometimes, you give me a really clear indication of how different you are from most of my friends. This is one of those times. One the one hand, it... nags at me, that you so patently Don't Get It. I want to make you understand. But then... if you were a different type of person, you wouldn't be to me what you are. And to make you understand would be to change you. *shrug.* So... I do what I need to do, say what I feel needs to be said... and I'm glad when you understand, but I love you even when you don't. Or maybe even more when you don't, because you're showing me what you are.

And, on the flip side... when you do understand, I know I've accomplished what I set out to do. ;) I'm not sure whether I've done that this time, but if I didn't, then I hope you just remember that I love you lots. :)

Re: Words

[violetvixen.livejournal.com]

Well said