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kuangningThis is one of those difficult posts, and I feel like I should apologise upfront for it being so. I really hate asking for help, when my situation's not as dire as some I've been in over the years, but Paul and I are currently stuck in a mire we can't break out of without some help.
When I made the move from the Cary suburbs to Raleigh, I thought I'd find stable work fairly quickly. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened. The little Lulu-esque company I did go to work for discovered that they weren't, actually, bringing in enough to justify hiring an extra employee for the non-technical bits that Connie could do, and so I was laid off again. I haven't yet found anything else, though of course I'm still looking. Paul's income, then, has been supporting us both, but there's almost nothing left over after doing so. My savings are long gone; his have been tapped for the immediate costs of my medical care, and even so, that emergency room visit hasn't yet been paid off -- it's $4300 USD all by itself. I have another doctor's visit upcoming when the biopsy results come in, and that's another one that'll have to be paid for on the spot before I'm seen.
What this means, though, is that the process of getting me to Australia is stalled, because we haven't anything left over after the monthly bills and the doctor's appointments are paid for, to throw at it. I need to replace my passport, which requires an application fee and a trip to my consulate in Florida (roughly $700 USD to cover both the fee and the trip) that we just can't afford as things stand. The visa process is on hold until we can furnish another $1700 AUD fee and a copy of my passport, and those two things are what we're asking for help with -- because getting me over there will improve the financial situation for us immeasurably.
So, why are we pushing the emigration now, if we can't afford it, instead of just waiting? Several reasons, but the first, urgent, purely financial one is that right now, we're hemorrhaging money, maintaining two separate households. Neither of us is exactly living the high life, but my household bills are roughly $1000 USD each month -- rent, electricity, phone, Internet, groceries, nothing in there I could really pare back more, at least not while I'm under orders to eat three times a day plus snacks and needing to be in touch with Paul. That's money we'll be free to throw at the medical care and repaying what we owe, if we can get me over there and drop the second household. On the other hand, the longer we wait, with no surplus to rebuild our savings, the more likely it is that something else is going to happen that will set us back even further. Putting it plainly? We can't afford to not push it through.
The second reason is that, frankly, the sooner Paul and I are married and I'm settled in Melbourne, the less likely I am to incur thousands of dollars more in medical debt, and the sooner I can actually receive care for several non-emergency things that I've put off and put off for lack of money to see to them, like a new eye exam and contacts, and getting my wisdom teeth extracted. My current eyeglasses are about seven years old, since my prescription for contacts expired shortly after I was laid off, and my wisdom teeth have needed to come out since I was a teenager. Those things cost less over there than over here, since I'm entirely without health insurance. We also could have caught the anemia long before I was so badly off I needed extra blood, if I'd been able to see a doctor when the abnormal bleeding started.
The next reason isn't purely financial, but it's the urgent fact that the emigration paperwork isn't all that's on hold right now. Trying to adopt my kids out of the system requires me to be in a stable household -- the longer that takes, the longer Logan, at least, languishes in that group home. They're getting older -- Logan turns 13 and Ari turns 11 in October. Connor turned 9 in March. Ari and Connor are together in a family home situation where they're the only children, but Logan is on his own, cut off from contact with his brother and sister. Even after we can start the process, I expect it to take a couple of years of wading through red tape, meaning we'll get Logan back as an older teen, which is both scary and heartbreaking, but sooner is better for this.
My plans for school are similarly waiting till I emigrate, because it makes no sense to start a program here that will be interrupted when I go. I also think it'll be easier to find entry-level work there than here, and of course my income potential will be increased significantly once I'm actually trained for something. Hopefully we'll soon be a two-income household again, the way we were during his first extended visit.
I don't think we're rushing into marriage, either; we've been talking about and planning on being married since we made the decision to be with each other three years ago. We've weathered some serious disagreements, this ongoing financial pinch, and a lot of separation since then, and we're solid.
I know things are tight everywhere, and if you can't help, I understand. If you can help, though, it would be much appreciated. If nothing else we're planning for happens, just being able to eliminate the second household alone will put us in a much better position. You'll be paid back ahead of that emergency room visit, too -- clearing private debts is more important than making anything but minimum payments on the public ones. Our order of things is: clear the private debts, {look for work, get married, start the adoption process}, start school -- and we'll clear the public debts after the first term of school is paid for, if there's still anything left of the public debts at that point. It'll make for a single rather crowded year, but then we can transition to the more usual routines of work and school while pushing hard on the adoption paperwork.
When I made the move from the Cary suburbs to Raleigh, I thought I'd find stable work fairly quickly. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened. The little Lulu-esque company I did go to work for discovered that they weren't, actually, bringing in enough to justify hiring an extra employee for the non-technical bits that Connie could do, and so I was laid off again. I haven't yet found anything else, though of course I'm still looking. Paul's income, then, has been supporting us both, but there's almost nothing left over after doing so. My savings are long gone; his have been tapped for the immediate costs of my medical care, and even so, that emergency room visit hasn't yet been paid off -- it's $4300 USD all by itself. I have another doctor's visit upcoming when the biopsy results come in, and that's another one that'll have to be paid for on the spot before I'm seen.
What this means, though, is that the process of getting me to Australia is stalled, because we haven't anything left over after the monthly bills and the doctor's appointments are paid for, to throw at it. I need to replace my passport, which requires an application fee and a trip to my consulate in Florida (roughly $700 USD to cover both the fee and the trip) that we just can't afford as things stand. The visa process is on hold until we can furnish another $1700 AUD fee and a copy of my passport, and those two things are what we're asking for help with -- because getting me over there will improve the financial situation for us immeasurably.
So, why are we pushing the emigration now, if we can't afford it, instead of just waiting? Several reasons, but the first, urgent, purely financial one is that right now, we're hemorrhaging money, maintaining two separate households. Neither of us is exactly living the high life, but my household bills are roughly $1000 USD each month -- rent, electricity, phone, Internet, groceries, nothing in there I could really pare back more, at least not while I'm under orders to eat three times a day plus snacks and needing to be in touch with Paul. That's money we'll be free to throw at the medical care and repaying what we owe, if we can get me over there and drop the second household. On the other hand, the longer we wait, with no surplus to rebuild our savings, the more likely it is that something else is going to happen that will set us back even further. Putting it plainly? We can't afford to not push it through.
The second reason is that, frankly, the sooner Paul and I are married and I'm settled in Melbourne, the less likely I am to incur thousands of dollars more in medical debt, and the sooner I can actually receive care for several non-emergency things that I've put off and put off for lack of money to see to them, like a new eye exam and contacts, and getting my wisdom teeth extracted. My current eyeglasses are about seven years old, since my prescription for contacts expired shortly after I was laid off, and my wisdom teeth have needed to come out since I was a teenager. Those things cost less over there than over here, since I'm entirely without health insurance. We also could have caught the anemia long before I was so badly off I needed extra blood, if I'd been able to see a doctor when the abnormal bleeding started.
The next reason isn't purely financial, but it's the urgent fact that the emigration paperwork isn't all that's on hold right now. Trying to adopt my kids out of the system requires me to be in a stable household -- the longer that takes, the longer Logan, at least, languishes in that group home. They're getting older -- Logan turns 13 and Ari turns 11 in October. Connor turned 9 in March. Ari and Connor are together in a family home situation where they're the only children, but Logan is on his own, cut off from contact with his brother and sister. Even after we can start the process, I expect it to take a couple of years of wading through red tape, meaning we'll get Logan back as an older teen, which is both scary and heartbreaking, but sooner is better for this.
My plans for school are similarly waiting till I emigrate, because it makes no sense to start a program here that will be interrupted when I go. I also think it'll be easier to find entry-level work there than here, and of course my income potential will be increased significantly once I'm actually trained for something. Hopefully we'll soon be a two-income household again, the way we were during his first extended visit.
I don't think we're rushing into marriage, either; we've been talking about and planning on being married since we made the decision to be with each other three years ago. We've weathered some serious disagreements, this ongoing financial pinch, and a lot of separation since then, and we're solid.
I know things are tight everywhere, and if you can't help, I understand. If you can help, though, it would be much appreciated. If nothing else we're planning for happens, just being able to eliminate the second household alone will put us in a much better position. You'll be paid back ahead of that emergency room visit, too -- clearing private debts is more important than making anything but minimum payments on the public ones. Our order of things is: clear the private debts, {look for work, get married, start the adoption process}, start school -- and we'll clear the public debts after the first term of school is paid for, if there's still anything left of the public debts at that point. It'll make for a single rather crowded year, but then we can transition to the more usual routines of work and school while pushing hard on the adoption paperwork.
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here
Date: 2009-08-18 06:15 pm (UTC)Re: here
Date: 2009-08-18 06:18 pm (UTC)Re: here
Date: 2009-08-18 07:01 pm (UTC)Re: here
Date: 2009-08-18 07:02 pm (UTC)