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kuangningQuiet day today, I think. It's rainy and gray, though not very cold... I would have liked to be able to stay under the blankets this morning, but I've got promises to keep. I'm singing again... for the first time since college, and thus far, I like it a great deal. Serenity's choir doesn't quite know what to make of me yet; I grew up on the old gospel, and their repertoire's something quite different... fast-paced, foot-stompin' tunes, as the First Lady called it. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit in, but they seem to like the difference, so I'm not too worried.
It's so strange, to be doing so much alone; I've come to realize that, except for that space of time between leaving home and starting the relationship with Richard, whom I later married, I've never actually been on my own. So much that people take for granted will occur in someone's adolescent years, I didn't do. Like just hanging out with friends... I went to school, and then went home. I didn't bring my friends home, with the exception of Jenna, and, later, Shannon and Cameo. I missed every dance, including both my proms, and I actually helped plan the junior one. I went on only two school trips. You'd think that, having been so solitary while I was in school, I'd have been different once I left home. But I wasn't. I worked, and then went home.
So maybe this time will be different. We'll see. I am making friends here, and more quickly than I'd have guessed. I'm fitting in, not badly. And when I am by myself, I'm not afraid to go out and do something alone. That's progress, of a sort.
It's so strange, to be doing so much alone; I've come to realize that, except for that space of time between leaving home and starting the relationship with Richard, whom I later married, I've never actually been on my own. So much that people take for granted will occur in someone's adolescent years, I didn't do. Like just hanging out with friends... I went to school, and then went home. I didn't bring my friends home, with the exception of Jenna, and, later, Shannon and Cameo. I missed every dance, including both my proms, and I actually helped plan the junior one. I went on only two school trips. You'd think that, having been so solitary while I was in school, I'd have been different once I left home. But I wasn't. I worked, and then went home.
So maybe this time will be different. We'll see. I am making friends here, and more quickly than I'd have guessed. I'm fitting in, not badly. And when I am by myself, I'm not afraid to go out and do something alone. That's progress, of a sort.
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Date: 2001-12-17 03:27 pm (UTC)I experienced the same kind of culture shock when I separated from Chris, my x-hubby. I had gone from home - ran away with him - to marriage - to divorce. Suddenly I'm living on my own, going out with friends. It was frightning, and refreshing all at the same time.
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Date: 2001-12-17 05:57 pm (UTC)