Ptolemy says...

[kuangning]

Here's the lyrics I've just written for the "modern version" of a "When The Levee Breaks" type of song.

Mama was trapped in the home,
Water was rising, she was by the phone,
Called up her son, "I need someone to rescue me,"
"The Lake's come now, and it's at my knees."

And the son said ...

"Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's coming Tuesday,
The governor's called to DC."

Tuesday came, Mama was still in the home,
Water still rising, she was left all alone,
Called up her son, "Need someone at the place,"
"Floodin's not stopped, and it's up to my waist."

And the son replied ...

"Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's coming Wednesday,
The troops are now on their way."

Wednesday came, Mama couldn't get to the door,
Water still pouring all over her floors,
Called up her son, "I'm losing my calm,"
"Devil's still flowing, and He's up to my arms."

And the son yelled ...

"Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's coming Thursday,
The President's comin' on down."

Thursday came, Mama stood on her chair,
Water still coming, she needed some air,
Called up her son, "Get someone here quick,"
"Flood's still not stopping, it's up to my neck."

And the son sobbed ...

"Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's gonna get you,
Mama, help's coming Friday,
Just pray and they'll be there real soon."

Friday came, the flood sealed Mama's fate,
Mama drowned, went to the Pearly Gates,
... and the angels came down to greet her ...
... and they sang together as a mighty choir ...
... weeping tears into the mighty Mississippi below ...

... they sang ...

"Mama, help's come and got you,
Mama, help's come and got you,
Mama, help's come and got you,
The Lord's taken you from that wicked world."

(Repeat last chorus)

I laughed. Because it was either laugh or scream, and if I started screaming, I don't know when I'd stop.