story idea

[kuangning]

Fairly isolated den of folks, including one undisputed leader. Strangers come, displaying a superior ability for stealth and fighting -- and give to the band a "present" -- a copy of the leader whose skills are in many areas a match for his own. They leave them with instructions on the care of his double, and go away.

The double grows to be the center of the little group's attentions -- guardian and child together. Slowly, the real leader comes to abdicate many of his responsibilities to the double, leaving the group in the care of the creature fashioned by others. When he comes to see his mistake, it is almost too late ....

I'm tossing it out there because I want to see someone else do it well, if possible, and I know I won't have time. If you want to take it up, I just ask that you let me know.  :)

Comments

[kaolinfire.livejournal.com]

You're daring. :)

Sounds fun.

Sounds difficult to do well--a little too obvious, in my mind. Which would make me think it has to be done in flash, just about the length you have it written above. Well, maybe a couple times more than that, but something exceptionally short.

I'd also have some trouble swallowing the "group accepts the present" angle, or so I think.

[kuangning]

*chuckles.* well, it *is* from a dream. There'd need to be backstory to explain motivations -- people will swallow anything if they're put in the right situation for it. What are the group's goals? The outsiders'? If the group is a band of refugees and the outsiders are a conquering nation, offering "alliance" on their borders... they're stressed, tired of worrying, perhaps. They want peace. And the months pass and there's no sign of aggression ... would you blame them for taking the gift at face value?

[kaolinfire.livejournal.com]

Alright, I'm starting to see something that could form here.

:)

jotted a note to myself. if it hits me.

[kuangning]

Or maybe the leader himself is taken with the gift -- a bit of natural vanity -- and his acceptance leads the way for the rest, and the time that elapses seems to prove him right. I'm also hoping no-one does the blatant "it tries to murder them all" thing -- I was thinking more a "moral decay", with ideological changes being introduced like slow poison. Until the leader finally notices what's taking place (hearing something he doesn't like from the mouth of his own child would be believable if maybe obvious) and who knows? Maybe it's even too late to change it. Nothing saying it has to end happily ever after.