(no subject)

Is it all right or even sane to be sad over losses not yet incurred? Over things still, as yet, securely in my grasp -- is it strange to be mourning the future, like a child sobbing over the far-off day of her peaceful death?

I want.

That's my trouble right now.

The sun is shining, but I've caught the scent of the storm, and I want more time! The reservoir is full, but I can taste the dust, the grit of drought ahead, I can feel the way I will be: aching, empty, too parched to even shed tears... perhaps that's why I feel I have to shed them now, because someone should. Perhaps it's nothing more than the fact that there's a price that will have to be paid and I may as well begin.

My skin is too tight, today. I'd like to slip out of it for awhile, to put my arms around the world and absorb it, just the way it is in this instant. So that I can hope to find my way back, when it changes.