losing.

People lose people. I don't know why we are all so damn careless. Folks lose their kids, men lose their women, even friends get lost if you don't keep an eye out. I look through the windshield at the houses going by. For every person sitting in them houses, watching TV or eating a ham sandwich, there's someone somewhere wondering where and why they lost them. All those lost people, carrying on their everyday business like the air's not full of the sound of hearts breaking and bleeding.

(Billy Dead, Lisa Reardon, p. 1)

She adored reading. Bright, self-confident, maybe a bit too quiet for her own good, but blessedly normal, in her braids and school uniforms. She trusted everyone, because no-one had ever hurt her more seriously than a band-aid could fix, and there weren't any problems, not even her mother's moods, that Daddy couldn't fix.

I left her behind a door with peeling paint, and I wish I could have left the memory there, too.

She was reckless, sharp edges and self-destruction, chasing death like some people chase happiness, and finding people who wouldn't help her throw herself over the last step, but didn't mind pushing her closer to the edge. She didn't believe in anything, and anyone who believed in her, she was out to teach the lesson she'd learned.

I left her in someone else's hands; I walked away from her and I never thought I'd miss her.

She believed in redemption. She believed in second chances, in persistence and determination, in understanding being the ultimate means to the ultimate end. She believed that one dream, one prayer, one song, could change one heart, and that one heart could change one tiny corner of the world. She believed in holding on.

I left her facing futility. I left her learning that some things can't be helped, that sometimes, all you can do is walk away. I left her behind, saying that I'd never forget the lesson again.

Never again.

Vertical Oracle strikes again.

1. How you are feeling at this moment, what is on your mind and the nature of your question.

SOLITUDE
a gratifying element of being alone

Saturn in Pisces or in the Twelfth House

This enigmatic image represents either too much vertical awareness or not enough. You’re either too isolated or in dire need of time to yourself. Whether it’s to gather your wits or get perspective or just think, merging with your own singular nature tends to restore your vertical resonances. An illumined pearl suspended above a headless statue is symbolic of an innate wisdom beyond reason & intellect; a capacity for being still and knowing. Being at one with yourself makes it possible to create and to serve Creation. Too much solitude, however, can make you stir crazy from sheer lack of meaningful human contact and community involvement.

2. The factors influencing you and what is happening around you.

ZERO POINT

3. The direction you need to take to resolve any problems before you.

MAGIC
the imagination to detect & effect change

Sun in Scorpio or in the 8th House

You stand at the threshold of extraordinary opportunity without completely knowing it. The transformations within and around you can now be utilized to realize your intent, if that’s what you want. The bird, symbolizing imagination’s flight, perches in repose on a chess figure, depicting the strategies of intellect. When ideas can serve intuitive truths, magic is ready to happen. Behind this bird, a window opens to another dimension. Like SYNCHRONICITY, magic is everywhere and happens all the time. Yet without an imagination to perceive the changes within and around us, and the intellect to articulate these transitions, we are left with fleeting glimpses at best.

Overview
ILLUSION
the truth about illusions

Neptune in Sagittarius or in the Ninth House

Uh oh. Don’t panic. You’ve been duped or are about to be duped. If you can see an illusion for the illusion it is, rather than the truth you thought it was, you’re ready for a little enlightenment. Of course this depends entirely on your choice to lighten up and sort through your perceptions for more truth. Disillusionments act like little enlightenments disguised as jokes. Next time those cherries drop on your head, look up. Open wide and savor the juice; be careful not to choke on the pits. Try not taking it too personally; the greater the delusion, the greater the potential for clear seeing.

(no subject)

My life is being taken offline for the forseeable future, starting immediately. I'm checking email, but NO LJ comments or updates will be posted. AIM and IRC are also no longer on the agenda. See you all when I do.