(no subject)

She wept.

Around her, snow fell lightly, snowflakes glittering briefly as they danced in the cone of light from the lone streetlamp, and then disappearing, as the tears streaked her face and dampened her curls. What had she expected? She didn't know. But certainly not this... not the glimpses into warm houses through lighted windows, while she remained outside, tired and increasingly desolate. Slightly chubby fists dashed the tears away determinedly, and the small shoulders straightened.

That was how he found her, when he came through the darkness and up the hill towards home. Tiny, beautiful, and defiant, snowflakes dusting night-black curls and a circle of light falling around her like a cloak. Startled, he drew a breath. She couldn't be any more than two, and with that colouring, she was a long way from home. She certainly wasn't the child of any family he knew, and he knew them all. Dropping to one knee beside her, he questioned softly, "What's your name, little one? And why aren't you home? It's cold out here." He didn't really expect an answer, and was not disappointed when she said only, "Alys." He extended his hand to her, gently, and when she took it without fear, he lifted her into his arms, chatting soothingly to her. She was tense at first, but soon relaxed, and before the walk was completed, the wide violet eyes were closed, and the little head was a small weight on his shoulder.

did I ever tell you...

That I believed in you? That even when I didn't say it, and it seemed that I wasn't looking, all the tiny little bits of progress made me smile? That watching you triumph over so much has given me more satisfaction than, perhaps, you would believe?

Did I ever say, and did you ever really feel it, that I see in you so much to be proud of? That the spirit and the determination you sometimes display lifts my heart, and that your kindnesses when you'd rather lash out, the smiles you give when your own heart is torn... did I tell you that they confirm for me the fact that you are something truly wonderful?

Did I mention, even in passing, that your strength amazes me? Not brute force, your strength, not the type that overwhelms... but the best kind of strength, the kind that's hard-won, the kind that leaves you standing, after the hardest storms... or leaves you bowed, but lets you lift your head again.

Did I show, by even a smile, a word of pleasure, that your sense of beauty delights me? The joy you find in the smallest things... the whisper of a breeze or the glowing colour of a flower's petals... it's something I thought only children possessed, until I discovered that you had never left it behind. The pleasure you find in creating something beautiful is infectious; I enjoy your creations as much for the fact that you found happiness in the crafting as for the beauty of the creation itself.

Did I ever acknowledge that I know how deeply I'm indebted to you? Without you, I would not have survived. You had my life in your hands, and you didn't release me when I would have let go... when I would have thrown it away. You salvaged a future for me out of the ruins of my hurts and my hopes, and you taught me to believe that the future could be more than my past... you taught me to dream. You lent me your strength when mine was exhausted, mis-spent on bitterness and vengeance that failed to nourish me. Your constant presence wove itself through the tatters of my belief, and while some would have been content to have me believe in them, you restored my faith in myself.

Did I ever tell you, or did I take it for granted that you would know? Did I neglect to say it, sure in the knowledge that you understand me completely? If I was careless then, I cannot be now. So tell me, please; I want to know... did I ever tell you that I love you?