kuangning | *giggles.* one of the managers just handed me this. (Reply)

I AM A FRONT DESK CLERK

I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, maketing, business, computer science, civil engineering and Swahili. I can also read minds.

Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under the name that starts with "X".

It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds each, four rollaways, and, yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter-landing pad.

I am a front desk clerk. I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Saturday, you really meant Friday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and, yes, I can tell you why your bill from March contained a 50-cent phone charge because you obviously never pay phone charges.

I understand that McGillicutty's Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire that will make or break our hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I tell you that we have no rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct seven more guestrooms. This time, I will not forget the helicopter-landing pad. And, yes, it's my fault that everyone wants to stay here. I should have known that you would be coming in, even though you had no reservation.

I am a front desk clerk. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming phone calls, and plunging the toilet in room 221... all at the same time.

I am a front desk clerk, an operator, a bellman, bellhop, houseman, concierge, guest services, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information, a map, entertainment critic, restaurateur, stock broker, computer technician, ice-breaker, postman, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, fax expert, and verbal punching bag. And I also know why room 1610 isn't answering their phone.

I know where to find the best kosher, vegetarian, Mongolian barbecue restaurants. I know exactly where to go and what to do in this town without spending any money. I take personal blame for the airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tyres, and the national economy. I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel. Of course I can "squeeze you in", and, yes, you may have the special $1 rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting Club.

I am expected to smile, sympathize, console, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, and fix the printer. And I know exactly where Postman Trott Lane is.

I am a front desk clerk. I do all of these things... and I will try to look busy when management is around.