motivation creeping back? ... perhaps.

[kuangning]

So much, after all, that I want to tell you. So much I want you to see, the way I see it. To taste, and touch, and feel. To put your finger to, and know that it is, and that it is good.

So much... and most of it is just you. Did you know that? I don't tell you enough. I don't take enough breaks like this one, the ones where I'm absorbing everything but I can't get the words past my mind, I can't sully anything or leave ripples with my thought-stones in the river of your posts. Enough just to watch you laugh, and love, and reach out to each other. Enough to get to know you a little more.

I've got nothing to say today that you don't already know, on some level. I've got nothing to give that you don't already have, nothing to describe that you've never felt or seen or tasted. And still I want to open up my skin and hand it over; the feeling I've had and still have is one I want you to have, all of you. So... here's your assignment, the favour I'm asking of you today. I want ten minutes of your time -- okay, maybe twenty. Go do the one thing that will bring you the most joy today. Drag someone you love with you if you like. Hell, take a pleasant stranger if you want. ;) But go do it. And then tell me about it if you want to. I'm going to post later; in the meantime, I'm off to make it a day worth posting about.

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

I have a plan for joy -- I have a date with my husband and a camera, and we're going to document my body. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. ;>

[gurath.livejournal.com]

Ooooooo! Permission to have fun! Now if only I hadn't blown off work yesterday to study for my final this morning...

[pure-randomness.livejournal.com]

Oh believe me...I plan on having fun tonight :)

[pixiedash.livejournal.com]

For today, it's reading my book. I think I'll take more than 20 minutes. *mwaah*

[kaolinfire.livejournal.com]

:hug:

[rest of comment deleted and posted in my journal because I need it to balance out my other recent entries :)]

thank you for the warm fuzzy thoughts in all directions. :)

Why stop at fun? Why not seek joy!

[bridgeweaver.livejournal.com]

Readers of my journal will have noticed that I've been on the edge of unhappiness of late. The reasons for this are legitimate and need to be honored. But during a long soul-searching conversation with my beloved devafall last night, I finally came to understand something that I've been approaching but not quite finding the words to explain for two weeks now. I need to have beauty, by which I have come to believe I mean passion as as integral part of my life, my friendships, my work, my eating, sleeping and breathing. I have spent too much time thinking that passion was too dangerous for the person I wanted to be to realize that I miss the hectic, brightly-colored days in my past where I made lots of errors of judgment, trusted some of the wrong folk, dived way too deeply into experiences that I should have known better than... but I was *joyful!*

So, now I want the whole enchilada. I want the thrill of discovering a singer who makes me wet with her voice. I want the electric pulsing sensation of finding a short story that leaves me weak with the humble admiration for its creator. I want the immediate can't-hide-from-it sense of another only achievable by touching skin to skin, in sex or not, without the boundaries I must impose in order to be a bodyworker. I want bold food to drench me in the tastes of garlic and cayenne, or cinnamon and chocolate. I want the wildness of dancing with no thought of self-consciousness to the beat of a fellow barbarians drum.

I will not be content with mere fun. I want so much more. I need to regain the joyful child who lived in the moment and didn't worry so much about things he couldn't change, or things he could change but not yet. I want playmates in this quest.

What do you want?

[virtual256.livejournal.com]

I've done more than 20 minutes, I've managed the entire weekend.

I went off to the Olympic peninsula for the weekend with some friends, including my Girlfriend.

Re:

[kuangning]

Yay. :) Colour me completely proud of you.